Snort, chuckle, snort

This is a classic case. This man came in after doing something stupid while intoxicated on cocaine. Can you guess what stupid thing he did, and where?

Physician's prayer

Sir Dr. Robert Hutchison's Physician's Prayer
— written on the walls of Children's Hospital, London

" From inability to leave well enough alone,
From too much zeal for the new and contempt for what is old,
From putting knowledge before wisdom,
Science before art and cleverness before common sense,

From treating patients as cases, and from making the cure of the disease
more grievous than the endurance of the same.

Good Lord, deliver us."

More fun stories

Direct quote from the electronic medical record: "23-year-old male who was found in the parking lot of a store, waving a knife and screaming.  He has a history of drug use per an acquaintance at scene who quickly fled after giving that history.  He was brought in by ambulance combative, attempting to strike EMTs, and spitting.  Head net was then placed.  He was brought in under physical restraint with police officers assisting."

"30-year-old man who presented complaining of pain in his leg after being bit by a dog." I initially felt sorry for him, but on further review of the records, it seems that the dog that chased him down and bit him was a police dog in the act of its duty. No more sympathy.

Get bent

This is an unfortunate gentleman who had a previous femur fracture that got fixed with a rod down the middle of the bone. He got hit by a car a few years afterwards and bent the rod.

More fun stories:

"20 y/o who became intoxicated with alcohol, ran into the street and fell into the bushes. He now complains of right knee and ankle pain." Just another example of how ridiculous people are when they get liquored up.

"33 y/o woman who presented with nausea and vomiting. She was also wondering why she has been so emotional lately." While looking at the patient's gallstones, the sonographer noted something moving in her abdomen. On further investigation, that something had a heartbeat! As it turns out, she is 33 weeks pregnant. It was unclear why this was such a surprise to the patient, as she already has four kids and therefore presumably knows what it is like to be with child.

"20 y/o man who punched a refrigerator. He presented the next day complaining of pain in the right hand." The following radiograph shows the classic "boxer's fracture" suffered by those who punch without being very good at punching, and therefore hit with the knuckle of the small finger instead of the index and ring fingers. Can you see the fracture?

Fashion Statement

This is not a fashion statement. This is what can happen when your nail gun ricochets.

Season's Greetings

This reflects perception more than reality, but still funny.

More stories!

"21 y/o man who presents after hearing a crack in his wrist accompanied by sharp pain after the police car in the back of which he was handcuffed made a sudden sharp turn." He broke his wrist - ouch! Of course, he then left the ER against medical advice when it became clear that he would be released from custody.

"5 y/o girl who was standing on the sidelines of a football game and was inadvertently tackled." She has a  broken collarbone, and I am sure she will never go near a football game again. Her career as a cheerleader is over before it began.

Fun Story

"21-yr old man who was in the passenger seat of a car arguing with his mother, who was driving at 35 mph. He became upset and demanded that she let him out of the car. When she refused, he opened the door and jumped out." He wound up fracturing his left elbow pretty badly. The bummer is that the interesting part of the story - what they were arguing ABOUT - may never be known.

More stories

"57 y/o man who presents after accidentally stabbing himself in the stomach with pruning shears while gardening."